Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Need Help With Ending!!!

in a little girls room there is a table, on that table there are crayons that are broken and smeared. there is still a crayon in the box,(the crayon has a face) he is the last one left. he has seen his fellow crayons on the table and is scared and terrified that he will end up the same.
a creepy little girls hand comes in and grabs the last crayon. the shot stays on the empty crayon box while we hear screams and scratching noise of the crayon being used. the screams stop and you see the crayon getting thrown back at the empty box and is lying on the table lifeless with his fellow crayons.
it slowly pans over to where the little girl is sitting. changing from light to dark with pieces of paper covering the walls with words saying "Choose your colour?"
it then goes over to the little girl where she gets up from her drawing space and shows what she did on the piece of paper. "choose your colour?" is written upon the paper with the crayons face smeared in the lettering.

  1. i have my first and second structure but i dont have a ENDING that makes sense!!
  2. the ending doesnt really make sense. and i dont know how to make it make sense!
  3. HELP ME HELP ME!!

p.sherman 42 wallaby way sydney.

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1 comment:

  1. Jack @ HolmesglenMarch 6, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    First things first.
    The way things look this cannot be done as a very short film. 1 minute tops (me thinks). This story is very similar to Tin Toy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNZtl5SZvbM).

    Second things second.
    Is the little girl is under 3 years of age?
    If so the following applies
    - they eat crayons
    - they cry and collapse on the ground if they don't get what they want
    - they are clumsy
    - they may still wear nappies
    - their fine motor skills aren't that great

    If you want to play on the title of your film "Choose your colour" then make the focus of the film the actual point when the hand reaches out to choose a new crayon. If you make the world below the table implicit (using only sounds offscreen) the film will be easier and you can concentrate on only the crayon and the hand. Then just make it a battle between the crayon and the short-tempered beast. Have them duel for a while until the crayon gets right out of her reach and then as the toddler corners the crayon and strains as hard as she can to reach it, a HUGE pooey fart blarts out followed by the sound of some horrified parent who comes and grabs the kid to change its nappy.
    THE END. All body action of toddler and parent are OFF SCREEN.

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